An Open Letter To My Ex, One Year Later

You didn’t hurt me. The hurt parts of me were attracted to you. You grated your emotional unavailability against old wounds and tore their scabs away. I bled out; I had to let the poison of my past all the way out. The hurt parts of me loved you. The wounded parts of me thought you were the one. The healed me knows better.

Rain

And I remember
Unspoken “I love you”s
But I live and love out loud
So your silent ‘I love you’s don’t count

Red Flags & Mind Games

On the first date with an ex, he told me he was confused about monogamy. His stance was very wishy washy. One moment he thought it wasn’t natural or possible. The next moment, he said he felt he needed to work through that confusion in therapy in order to have a meaningful relationship. He said…

The Difference Between Emotional Vampires/Abusers and Sensitive People

Some people like to hide their emotional abuse or vampirism as “Sensitivity.” Narcissists and psychopaths are especially good at mimicking emotions like sadness in order to get their way. Here’s how you can tell if someone is just sensitive, or if someone is actually attempting to manipulate, control, or abuse you emotionally:

Our Song

My words collapsed into your mouth
Rolled around your tongue
And were swallowed whole
I sang the words
They leapt from my tongue
Landing silently upon your ears

When a Flower Blooms in a Dark Room…

Why did I leave Facebook for a while? Why did I break from Social Media (or social mediocrity as I call it now…haha)? What did I do during that time? What did I learn? I traveled and saw parts of the world I never thought I’d see. I read books and expanded my breadth of…

Shadows

Have you ever tried to outrun your shadow? As a child I would pretend my shadow was chasing me as I ran down the street.  My shadow’s pace was in sync with my own, quickening or slowing down as I did.  Sometimes I would come to a complete stop to see if it would continue…

Thanks For Noticing

Often, we as women respond to compliments with excessive gratitude as if the person doling out kind words is doing us a favor. It makes sense why this is so common, though. We are inherently insecure because of the way we are brought up. We are held to impossible and contradictory standards which NO human being can live up to. The result is constantly feeling as though nothing we do is good enough–as though WE are not good enough. I am pretty sure that if we tried to program a robot to behave according to the standards we are expected to uphold, it would feed us a “computational error” message and burst into flames.

Men (and Women) Who Can’t Love

Desire is not synonymous with love.  I know that now.  But once upon a time I confused the two.  And if a man chased me hard enough–wanted me badly enough–it had to be because he loved me.  I wasn’t wise or mature enough to consider the other factors that may influence a man’s desire of…

The Great Wall of Anger

I sat in my therapist’s office feeling defeated; tears were welling up in my eyes.  In a stern voice he says, “Come on; don’t dissolve into tears!  Let it out.”  He motioned towards an empty chair.  He wanted me to pretend a certain person was sitting in it, and to yell and scream at the…

I Remember When I Learned To Hate My Body

I was 11 years old.  My brother and I were visiting family members in Puerto Rico for the summer.  I was so excited to spend time with my grandparents, who I hadn’t seen in years.  They lovingly greeted us at baggage claim and escorted us to their car. My hair was curly and cut very…

The Beauty of the Whole

I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately, and of the different subjects I am studying, the topic of compassion and acceptance have been the most powerful. Yes, exercising compassion and acceptance towards others is ideal, but the real challenge is exercising compassion and acceptance towards ourselves. I relate this to many of us who…